Henry VIII

Henry VIII is a Tudor English King and absolute unit. His spirit allegedly roams museums dedicated to his reign, and closing any doors he sees to be against fire code regulations.

Accomplishments

 * Created his own branch of Christianity to get his hole.
 * Allegedly wrote Greensleeves, will whistle said tune if crammed into a pneumatic tube.
 * Was so much of a bloater he exploded in the sun from posthumous gasses. A farty presence, if you will.
 * Once ate 4 and 20 blackbirds baked into a pie, which really goes a long way to explain the previous point.
 * Played by someone much more attractive than him on television.
 * Completed Dark Souls before Richie Morgan.
 * Henry's six wives correspond to the six primary stages of kink:
 * Catherine of Aragon - feet Queen (the gateway wife)
 * Anne Boleyn - furry Queen
 * Jane Seymour - giantess Queen
 * Anne of Cleves - vore Queen
 * Catherine Howard - cockvore Queen
 * Catherine Parr - pamperchu Queen